Friday, July 15, 2011

Learning to Say Goodbye








His collar hangs on the shelf that I put it on since returning from the vet without him. For 12 years it hung around his neck and now it hangs on a shelf as a stark reminder that he’s no longer here. The emptiness in the house is overwhelming. The deafening silence echoes so much louder than his once obnoxious bark. Oh what I would give to hear that barking again…

Choosing to give our hearts and lives to those whose life expectancy is so much less than ours is a guarantee of pain and emptiness. And yet we do it because the years filled with their love and antics far outweigh any grief that we may feel. Is it worth it you ask in the midst of your grief? Ask him. Ask him as he stood in that line waiting to be admitted to the animal shelter after spending 5 years in a home and being a loving, devoted pet. Ask him if it’s worth the past 7 years he gave absolutely devoted to you and your family. Or would it have been better if he’d died a scary, lonely death at the hands of an Animal Control Officer who didn’t know him, didn’t love him? We know the answer even in our pain. Yes, it’s worth it. He’s worth it. He’d be worth it again.

As a rescuer we sign on for the grief part of this work. We know for every high of highs when rescuing animals from impossible situations, from horrid conditions, the bars of the shelter, we know there will be the lowest of lows in not being able to save them all, not being able to mend their broken bodies and having to say goodbye way too early because of someone’s neglect, abuse or inattention. As a rescuer we sign on for making the hard decisions and yet, when it comes to our own animals and those last days, we’re all the same. No amount of death, life, pain, joy, anguish will prepare you to say goodbye to your beloved pet. But what makes it worth it is knowing that you were allowed the opportunity to love another unconditionally.

Yes, death is an inevitable part of this joy we call pet guardianship. Their unconditional love makes the pain of saying goodbye worth it. So the collar may temporarily be a searing reminder of a loss but at some time that pain will subside and the memories of a life worth sharing will prevail.